nurse tee’s blog

I got a phone call this morning at about 4:30am. I said hello in a sleepy voice. My mom on the other end is frantic. You see my auntie Angie's Johnny Paul Jones Jr. , had just been shot and killed. He was only 23 years old. Way to young to have been taken away. He was shot in his apartment along with his girlfriend. She wans shot twice and he was shot "eight times". Someone must have really hated him. Why?

Jr. had his issues and he had finally turned his life around, he was taking his place in the world as a man.

 Know that your family and friends will wrap their arms around your son, and love him and keep your memory alive. You where taken away from us way to soon.

God know best, and I know that you did what you needed to do here on earth. Now God has called you home, to get your wings.

What over us , hear on earth.

Love you soo much!!!!

What is "this thing". there is this feeling that I get when I talk to him. this thing happens when I see him. I didn't think that I could or would ever feel the touch of a man, physically nor mentally.

Have you ever had some one touch you. I mean really touch you. Oh God! I have wanted this for so long. I felt like a woman , that had never done this before. I was nervous, scared that I would not do it right, scared he would not like me , or what I didn't know. His hand touched my hand, my neck, shoulders, I wanted him to touch me more, faster, harder, but I wanted it to go slow at the same time. I wanted to soak all of him in. My heart was racing. I could hear him breathing hard to . You see it had been a while for him also. Now his lips. Yes, that mouth. He pulled me to him , kissing my neck, down my chest, seems to be kissing me and touching me at the same time. After 7 plus years , I finally was about to release all of me.

He took his time with me. He explored areas of my body that had been completely forgotten about. Our bodies seemed to be so close that they seemed one. He stroked my back, my hips, the small of my back. I felt all of him, he was so ready, I could tell, but he wanted only to "please" me. He asked me if it felt good. "YES" was all I could say. "Please" don't let go. Nervous to touch him , but when I did I knew he wanted me just as much. He parted my legs and I thought he was going to give me , himself.  he did but his mouth touch me, his tongue was hot and only added to my wetness . I feel like I am about to explode, waves of emotion take over me, the only thing I could do was hold on and let it all go.

Tears flowed, tears out of fear, happiness, relief !  What was this. " Why have you waited so long girl", I waited for this. that I know .

I wanted to kiss him , lick him, suck him, rub him, squeeze him, an I did.. I  wanted him inside of me and I was well aware that we wanted to be there. He slide inside with ease. you see I was so moist at this moment. I felt every inch of him. Hard , he was! Every vein, hump. bump that made his manhood him, I felt. He moved inside of me at the same time continued to kiss and touch me. Never missing a beat. I began to move , wanting to go fast, but making myself take my time.Breathing us in. And when I was ready to cum... he helped me , "just let go, don't hold back" he whispered. Shaking, sweating, moaning , groaning, not wanting this to end. And I cried , I put my hands over my face and I cried, "I'm sorry" I didn't want to freak him out. He simply moved my hands and asked" are you ok" . I had multiple orgasms that night. I didn't know that was possible. Ten years of marriage and I will just say . He was so disconnected from me , as I was he , that he didn't know just how good I was at  "FAKING  Oh but I couldn't fake this even if I wanted to.

He didn't want to "cum"at least not yet. Just wanted me to be pleased.  that night I got my groove back. I got that woman back. He gave me back me. We "played" for hours literally. We woke up and spent the day together, it made me want him more , and I got more . All of him, he relaxed and released into me. I hope that he continues to show me just what I have been missing out on for 7 years.

I have to thank him. Thank You!

I have no idea where to begin. I write everyday and yett , I find myself  afraid to type. Afraid tot t   let others see my thoughts. I will start with the most recent. I have been divorced now for 9 years, and in those nine years I had not been physical with a man. I felt like I was not a worthy woman, that my husband took with him what made me a woman. I focused on my girls. I was in a very dark place and for me there was only one way out. You see I knew that was a side that lurked deep inside of me. that side that told me to just close my eyes and never wake up How in the hell did I get to this place. Educated, strong black woman , So I thought.  I have a career, a home, kids, I am ok in the finance department. YET I CRAVED SOMETHING ELSE.  I prayed harder than I ever have in all my life and His grace and mercy got me thru. I am a better mommie and woman for it now. Well I have lots to talk about. Raised by "granny", daddy left me, mama is a drunk, married at a young age. Abusive husband, and much much more.

To be continued